Fist Full Of Dollars

Back home for a bit. Aruba was nice, but truth is that I spent all of some 30 minutes outside and engaged in typical Caribbean-type activity. Still, as I noted before, it beats Detroit.

This entry is more of a Public Service Announcement than anything else … on the flight home I had occasion to see Paycheck, with Ben Affleck and Uma Thurmond. It was, I am certain, the worst film I have ever seen.

Be warned.

Of course, it’s SO bad that it qualifies as comic relief … for, perhaps, a Paycheck Party where everyone drinks each time there’s a non-sequitur, an abjectly ridiculous use of technology, or trite utterance. You’ll be drunk before the first twist in the tale.

Here’s what some of the professional reviewers thought:

“The amazing thing about John Woo’s steely, impersonal adaptation of this Philip K. Dick sci-fi story … is how it vanishes in front of our eyes even as we watch it.”

“A story that doesn’t make a lick of sense, even on its own coherence-mangling terms.”

“You’ve seen Roadrunner cartoons with more suspense than this entirely predictable hash.”

“This is cinematic cotton candy at its most caloric, and could pass as worthy yet inconsequential entertainment if it only had a tenth of a brain.”

And, of course:

“Desperdiça uma ótima idéia em prol da ação descerebrada.”

Aptly named, this film … the paycheck is the only thing that could have attracted someone of Uma’s talents.