Might As Well Have Pissed On The Rocky Statue

I was in Detroit this week, so I missed the local press about John Kerry asking for Swiss cheese on his Philly Cheese steak — at Pat's, no less — and then nibbling on it daintily so as not to get any on his tie. Luckily I read Betsy Newmark's blog with some frequency, so I caught it there.

Let's see, regarding those cultural screw-ups that Kerry could have made in Philadelphia, in order from least to most severe, we have:

5. Stealing penny's OFF of Ben Franklin's grave.

4. Making a joke about Little Nicky Scarfo at the corner of 9th and Catherine.

3. Pissing on the Rocky Statue.

2. Wearing a Dallas jersey into section 723 at the Vet.

1. Asking for Swiss cheese on his steak at Pat's.

I did some poking around on the web to identify Kerry's advance person, but to no avail. It doesn't much matter, because that person should question if they are in the right line of work.

Then there was this fantastic piece of on-thy-fly spin bullshit:

Kerry spokesman Robert Gibbs insisted that the candidate was “not taking a dainty nibble” of the steak. “I suspect that Kerry was thinking about provolone cheese but became distracted by thinking of the more than 3 million jobs that have slipped through the holes of George W. Bush's economic plan.”

That guy should work for Leno.

Swiss on a steak … sheeze … on his next trip to the Bronx he'll probably ask when the Mets are in town.